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Silhouettes (Drabble) When Halena looked back on her life she saw her mistakes glaring back at her. Once a hunter, dead at twenty years old for an unappreciative sister, resurrected as a demon by twenty-four. The list rambled on from there, straight up to being imprisoned by the Winchesters, falling into bed and actually managing to develop feelings for the younger of the two brothers before disappearing for months on end when she left him behind. She'd made a mistake, that much was brutally obvious to her now, as she had landed herself in a cell over another one. However, now as she sat in the center of a Devil's Trap painted onto the floor meant for the purpose of restraining her, she couldn't help but see his hand in her latest fall.Silhouettes (Drabble) by Aurosai
She was wrenched out of her self-pity as she heard voices on the other side of the closed off doors that quarantined her from any human contact. She blinked a few times to clear the black spots drifting across her field of vision as she
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When Halena looked back on her life she saw her mistakes glaring back at her. Once a hunter, dead at twenty years old for an unappreciative sister, resurrected as a demon by twenty-four. The list rambled on from there, straight up to being imprisoned by the Winchesters, falling into bed and actually managing to develop feelings for the younger of the two brothers before disappearing for months on end when she left him behind. She'd made a mistake, that much was brutally obvious to her now, as she had landed herself in a cell over another one. However, now as she sat in the center of a Devil's Trap painted onto the floor meant for the purpose of restraining her, she couldn't help but see his hand in her latest fall.
She was wrenched out of her self-pity as she heard voices on the other side of the closed off doors that quarantined her from any human contact. She blinked a few times to clear the black spots drifting across her field of vision as she tried to isolate the voices from the ringing in her own ears. She quietly shuffled as close as she could to the door, or at least as far as the trap would allow her to move, standing seemed like too much of an effort. After a few moments she was able to distinguish between the two voices, Sam and Dean were in a discussion and by the tone it wasn’t pleasant.
“Sam? I don’t want to be in here anymore. Let me out.” she finally called, her voice bordering on pleading, hearing the boys go silent as she spoke.
“Whiny bitch, I say take care of her now before she looses it again. How long’s it gonna be till she’s gunning for one of us?” Dean’s voice picked back up the conversation after a short pause.
“She might be useful still though, I don’t know that it’s time to kill her just yet. I mean, don’t get me wrong, we need to in the near future but I’m willing to bet we can still get a little more use out of her. She’s still an asset.” Sam spoke again, ignoring her pleas for freedom from behind the doors.
“Maybe this will give us something. At the very least we’ve got a hell of an experiment going on here.” Dean added with a slight chuckle before sighing audibly. “We can keep her alive, as long as you can keep up the doe-eyed lover charade, then when she stops being useful or wisens up we can kill her.”
“Exactly. I don’t think she thinks any thing is off either, she’s still under the impression that I love her and all of that.” There was a slight chuckle from both of them at this before footsteps moved towards the panels. “I’m going to check on the junkie.”
As she heard the footsteps approach she scooted herself back to the far side of the trap, her blood feeling cold in her veins despite the apparent fever ravaging through her body. She was not meant to have heard that, but she had and now she wished she hadn’t. Trembling fingers moved to clutch the fabric of the flannel as she crossed her arms protectively across her midsection as the panels rolled back and Sam entered. He looked the picture of sincere concern once he walked in, setting down a plastic cup of water for her just inside the edge of the trap.
“How are you feeling?” he asked, eyebrows pulling together as he looked down at her, remaining outside of the outer circle of the trap.
“Terrible. Not that you care.” she mumbled, immediately regretting the words once they passed her lips. But she’d heard them talking about her, she was little more to them than a pawn, something to be used up and disposed of. She had trusted him, if she hadn’t she would never have asked him to preform the cure on her in the first place.
“Sorry I asked.” he murmured, his tone taking on a sense of a distance as though he didn’t really care. “I brought you some water.” He added, gesturing to the cup on the floor as he spoke.
“I heard you and Dean…” she muttered, unable to help the stream of words from leaving her lips, after all what did she really have to loose, they were going to kill her anyways. One shaky hand moving to push a lock of hair behind her ear, waiting for some lie or apology to follow from him.
“You did? Walls must be thinner than we thought.” he mused for a moment, seemingly unperturbed that she’d overheard their conversation.
“Why would you say that?” she mumbled, though she was sure she would regret whatever his answer would be. She was feeling increasingly vulnerable in the trap; he was supposed to be helping her cope…
“Why?” he echoed, a mirthless laugh falling from his lips as he shook his head. “Cause it’s the truth. Halena, honestly, are you that naïve? I mean, I know you’re a little unstable right now, but did you really think you’re still around because of how I feel about you?”
She stared back at him, dark eyes widening slightly as he spoke. He had assured her that he loved her, over and over, whether she was a demon or not, and now he was going back on all of it.
“Halena, I know you must’ve known better, you’re not an idiot. You’re still only here because we think you might be useful still. I was supposed to keep up our little love affair but I’m trying to level with you, I can’t pretend to love you anymore, it makes me sick.” he continued when she said nothing, gesticulating to her with his hand periodically as he did.
“You don’t mean that…” she murmured finally, sounding desperate for him to take it all back, this was when she needed him most. She was suffering over something he’d done to her and he was doing this now.
“I do actually. You’re pathetic and weak-willed, Halena, I’m being honest with you here we’ve all got to be on the same page. I mean, you backed out of the cure, next thing I know is you’re asking me for blood and when I stop giving it to you, you went out and drank some poor bastard dry. Really, after that you think I would still love you even if I had before?”
“You didn’t tell me about the addiction before you let me quit, Sam! It’s not my fault, if anything it’s yours!” she shouted hoarsely, forcing herself to her feet shakily, tears starting to threaten to spill over.
“Sure, blame me. You and I both know it’s your fault. If you couldn’t handle the cure then you shouldn’t have insisted on it. Listen, this is how it’s gonna be from now on, you’re going to stay locked up down here in the dungeon. You’ll get through this withdrawal and when Dean or I come to ask you for information you’re going to be of actual use. Cause if you aren’t then there are other ways of getting you to talk. Got it?” he said, a smirk tugging at the edge of his lips as he looked down at her.
“Screw you! You should have just killed me, Sam!” she shouted, hot tears rolling down her face as she snatched the cup up and hurled it at him, watching him sidestep it easily before sinking back down to the floor to bury her face in her hands. She couldn’t look at him, the flare of rage seeping out of her as it was replaced by an aching sense of betrayal. She could see her mistakes that had led her here, putting her trust completely in his hands when she’s asked to be cured only to have it thrown back in her face. As she heard a slight chuckle from him she crossed her arms over her knees, burying her face against them. She heard her name being called, as the lock was forced free on the door, hearing another pair of footsteps hurry over the edge of the trap to her.
“Halena, hey, it’s me. What’s wrong?” she stiffened up as she heard the same voice, feeling his hand move to her upper back as he sat down.
“Go away…” she mumbled, resisting the urge to look up at him, she wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of seeing her crying, even if he suddenly sounded so concerned.
“Let me help you. Please, Halena, I’m right here okay? Just tell me what’s going on so I can help.” Was the reply from him, worry dripping off of every syllable.
At this she finally risked looking up at him, wiping her eyes on the cuff of her shirt. She regarded him for several long moments; dark brown eyes searching his hazel ones until she finally spoke in a quiet tone. “Why are you doing this to me?”
“Doing what? You need to stay in here until the blood is out of your system, I know you don’t want to but it’s safest…” he said in a coaxing tone, as though he’d already explained this to her several times.
“Why are you messing with me? Why wont you just kill me or let me go? I cant… I can’t do this anymore.” She mumbled in a hollow voice, sniffling slightly, she’d finally reached the end of her rope.
A look of realization crossed his face as she spoke, his much larger hand carefully taking one of hers as he spoke. “Halena… whatever you saw wasn’t real. I know it seemed it but it was just a hallucination, a side effect of the blood. You’re safe, this is real, and I promise you that.”
She shook her head slightly, this was the hallucination, her mind’s attempt to cope with everything she’d been experiencing. “You’re using me, manipulating me… I’ve been nothing but good to you, Sam; I don’t know how you can do this to me. I should have never come back, all you do is lie, and you’re not even really here.”
“Halena, I love you… I would never do that,” he said, voice taking on a hurt tone as he spoke, his fingers instinctively tightening around hers. “It’s the blood, Halena, trust me. Whatever you saw before wasn’t the real me. I think you know that…”
Her eyebrows creased together as he spoke, if this was a hallucination he should’ve been doing more to hurt her, or at least she thought that was how it was supposed to work. “I don’t know… I don’t know what’s real and if you’re even here right now or not.”
He nodded as he words left her in a rush, giving her hand a firm squeeze with his own. “That felt real, didn’t it? I know what you’re going through, Halena, I do. They’re hallucinations from the withdrawal, it’ll pass, I swear. Do you trust me?”
“I guess so…” she murmured, studying his face, he’d always seemed to try to do right by her in the past. She’d asked him for the demon cure, if he was really the Sam she thought she knew the he was still trying to help her with the after effects. “I don’t want to do this alone…”
“You aren’t, I’m right here for you, okay? I’m not going to leave.” He murmured, forcing a worried smile, his free arm moving around her shoulders carefully to make himself as much as a presence for her as he could.
She shuffled over next to him, leaning in against his side as his arm wrapped around her shoulders. She closed her eyes momentarily, resting the weight of her weary frame against his while she had the opportunity, in a few minutes she’d probably hear insults being thrown at her. “I love you, if you’re the real you.” she whispered after a few moments, the real Sam would never say such callous things to her that, what she presumed was, the hallucination version of him had.
“I love you too…” he said with what sounded like a relieved sigh, holding her close against his side as she’d let him. “You’re doing great. I’ve got you, Halena, I’m not going to leave you alone in here, I promise.” he added after a moment, feeling her nod slightly at his words before a comfortable silence fell between them.